Mon. May 23rd, 2022

Finally got around to watching this … mostly. Found a thing on YouTube that has the movie in chunks – caught some of it out of sequence, but I was able to understand the gist … and it was every bit the steaming turd I expected it to be. The storyline, as I understand it, is utterly retarded. Amanda Waller, who is supposed to be a highly intelligent badass, wants to assemble a team of super-criminals and use them to potentially stop the next Superman (presuming he showed up evil.) Her team? A hyper competent hitman, a deranged pyschopath, a thief who uses boomerangs, a crocodile man, a pyrokinetic (who might be channeling a demon? Not sure) and an idiot archaeologist channeling a centuries-old witch. Of this group, only the witch could potentially do much harm to Supes … although again, the pyrokinetic is iffy, depending upon the source of his powers.

And then, because she is evil, the witch manages to escape control and cause havoc. Which results, based on what I saw, thousands of casualties, all the fault of Waller who did a real shitty job of maintaining control on said witch. This results in the bad guys having to inexplicably decide to act in the greater interest and be good guys (briefly.)

The movie, from what I saw, is a mess. Will Smith’s Deadshot is basically Will Smith from every other role he’s played … which works for me cause I like him. There’s a firefight where he attacks the (literally) faceless horde that is pretty badass. Margot Robbie … well, she’s pretty and was game for this take on Harley Quinn, but the stripper look was terrible. None of the other characters have actual characterization.

There was a cool Flash cameo in this that I legitimately liked (even if I hate the casting choice they made for Barry) as the effects for how they did his speed were really nice. And, because DC can’t not have Batman in anything, he’s there more than I expected (which doesn’t really bode well for the DC-verse. I’m already having flashbacks of the Timm-verse which might as well have been called the Batman Universe.)

So right now, Wonder Woman is the last hope for the DC movie universe for me. If it stinks, then I’m done (although I probably will eventually see Justice League on HBO or something.) And if BvS and SS are any indication, my hopes for WW had been tempered rather significantly.