Episode IX Teaser … Bores Me

 

I fricking hate that I am so utterly indifferent to this trailer. When I watched it, I literally shrugged and realized just how badly The Last Jedi burned me. A friend of mine commented (and it fits my thinking perfectly): “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with this trailer. I just don’t care.

Yeah. That’s perfect.

Note that this teaser is wholly without merit. The fact that it ends with Emperor Palpatine laughing at the end (plus the reveal that Ian McDiarmid is back for EpIX) makes me vaguely interested, but beyond that? I legitimately don’t care about this trilogy’s “big three” (MaRey Sue, Finn, Poe) and the OT cast are all gone or on the way out.

I expect the boss will still take the office out to see EpIX like he did with VII and VIII and Rogue One, but like TLJ, I expect that’ll be the only time I watch the movie.

Also? “The Rise of Skywalker”? Uh … the last actual Skywalker is dead as of TLJ … unless Rey is retconned somehow.

Maybe I’m just getting old and that’s why but this trailer just left me bored. And that makes me sad.

Rewrite: BvS

So. It occurs to me, well after the fact, that I never actually published this here on the blog (though I did put a version of it up on my Facebook page.) What is it? A rewrite of the hot mess that was Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice in an attempt to undo the egregious OOCness (obviously, IMNSHO) that was so prevalent throughout. I use as much of the canon movie material as I can. I would have called this movie WORLD’S FINEST or some variation therein. Note: this was written before Wonder Woman came out, so some of this clearly clashes with that movie.

Plot Sequence:

  • As before, begin with Bruce at Metropolis during the Kryptonian attack. He witnesses firsthand the raw power at Kal-El’s disposal. And is afraid (although he cloaks this with rage.) I would have changed the first scene though; we don’t need to see the Waynes get murdered again. If anything, change it up somehow, like we start with the funeral, then intercut it with the occasional flashes of The Murder but never actually show their deaths. Highlight the trauma on Bruce but don’t inflict it on us again.
  • Two years later. (Overall notes – more specificity later)
    • In this time, Clark and Lois have had flamed out in terms of romance. Why? Because Henry Cavill and Amy Adams have absolutely zero chemistry together. No, actually, because Clark has spent almost 90% of his waking hours in The Suit, trying to be a Big Damned Hero and running across the globe, righting wrongs and trying to make amends for the Kryptonian slaughter of humans in MoS. As well as making up for his own mistakes.
    • Clark is not a full-time journalist, but rather a freelance one (I think this was hinted at in MoS where he was identified as a “stringer” which is a freelance journalist) as he spends so much time in The Suit. Thus, Perry will barely be in this movie (sorry, Mr. Fishburne) if at all.
    • Clark should be shown smiling all the time while in the suit, even when he doesn’t want to be (which should be visible by his actual expression.) The lack of a genuine smile by Supes really hurts the character – he’s freaking Superman! Not Mopeyman! Make-up team should also go out of their way to make him look tired without him looking old, so sometimes (a lot of time probably), the smiles seem forced. See above-mentioned “in the suit 90% of his waking hours.”
    • Drop or significantly reduce the Jesus motifs.
    • Also, Lois is not the freaking walking disaster she is in the movies. She doesn’t need saving every twenty minutes. I have no idea how anyone can consider this incarnation a “feminist icon,” not with her needing the big, strong man to save her every time she stubs her toe and nearly dies.
    • Recurring leitmotif: in the background, whenever we’re not on an active scene with Kal, television news reports should show Superman being super and doing awesome hero stuff.
    • Ditch the post-apocalyptic flashes. Don’t see the point. Would also remove the retarded Flash visit (not only because I hate the look they’ve given him but because I hate the whole ‘Lois is his entire world’ crap. I’d hate it if they said that about anyone, including my preferred Superman romantic partner of Wonder Woman.)
  • Desert Terrorist Scene
    • First, don’t kill off Jimmy Olsen, CIA Agent, by shooting him in the head. That’s stupid and lame. And the idea of Jim Olsen, CIA Agent? It’s freaking awesome.
    • Instead, Lois and Jim (or James. Not Jimmy) are covering a brutal firefight already in progress – terrorists attacking a UN convoy of which Lois is a part of – when WHOOSH! Supes drops out of the sky and starts disabling the terrorists (but not outright murdering them, because come on!) so the blue hats of the UN can apprehend them or continue their mission.
    • Lois should be able to kick a little ass herself, without having to really on Kal all the freaking time.
    • Aftermath, Clark notes that Jim is bugged and identifies him as CIA to Lois; she reveals that she knows and is using him just like he’s using her. During this exchange, he calls her “Miss Lane” and she calls him “Kal-El” so as to not reveal the truth to Jim.
    • Lex operative (dude from Winter Soldier) gets away.
  • Gotham
    • Human trafficker scene works as originally shown, although the branding is a bit much.
    • Bruce and Alfred bicker with the latter hinting that he knows the former is up to something. Bruce uses the ‘dirty bomb’ lie which Alfred declares is a better use of Master Wayne’s time than the so-called Superman Problem.
    • Alfred departs the scene, leaving Bruce to reactivate the monitors and reveal that he’s obsessed with Superman. Use the monitors to show numerous instances of Kal being Super and helping people. AND FREAKING SMILING WHILE HE’S DOING IT! Said smile can totally look forced and/or tired, but a smile instead of a grimace goes a long way.
  • Lex
    • Meets with Senator … Finch, I think? Holly Hunter.
    • RECAST LEX. he should be more of a smooth operator than the guy they cast and definitely shouldn’t set off the “OMFG, this dude is crazy.” alarms. Hell, the dude they had play the bad guy in “Ant-Man” made a better Lex Luthor IMHO than Eisenberg.
    • Idea: Have Lex appear to be a Superman supporter initially. He should reveal the Kryptonite nonsense as something one of his operatives stumbled upon – Lex will indicate that it appears there are forces out there actively trying to get their hands on a weapon that will kill Superman. Lex wants to help avoid that. Sen. Finch doesn’t seem to buy his bullshit even though the other guy does. Hell, it might even be vaguely interesting if Lex is a Superman supporter at first but goes quickly into extremist territory which leads to him turning on Supes. If nothing else, have his true sympathies and loyalties be in the air the entire time, even though everyone knows he’s going to be a bad guy since he’s Lex Freaking Luthor. I actually prefer this scenario as it is a nice homage to the Silver Age where Lex started out as Superboy’s pal and then turned evil.
  • Lois
    • Lois digs out the bullet, begins researching more. Something about that terror attack doesn’t pass the smell test.
    • Clark visits Lois briefly and this is where we reveal that they crashed and burned in terms of romance. She’s not bitter that he is pushing himself so hard but she is really worried that he’s going to burn out. Could imply that both are not pleased that they flamed out, but are being adults. There could be hints that they might get back together in the future (though not if I was running things, that’s for sure.)
    • She should point him to the fundraiser – something she’s already uncovered has ties to LexCorp, which is strange given how supportive Luthor is toward Supes.
    • Use this scene to reveal that Clark is still haunted by all the deaths he didn’t prevent and by his (necessary) killing of Zod.
    • Furthering the leitmotif, Clark exits because of an emergency.
  • Bruce
    • Fight club. Clones phone
    • Back to him & Alfred and reveal of Luthor’s links. Reveal of fundraiser invite.
    • Remember background element of Supes saving people on television.
  • Bruce & Clark & Diana
    • Infiltrates the fundraiser. Bugs Luthor’s stuffs
    • Clark interviews Bruce? I’m tempted to keep this and equally tempted to drop it entirely because Clark not knowing who Bruce Wayne was upon arrival really made him look stupid (which is par for the course in modern DC who prefers dumb Clark so Batgod can outshine him), although I did like Clark eavesdropping on Bruce and Alfred & trying to figure out what they’re doing. Maybe have Clark (initially) believe it is corporate espionage? Perhaps have that be Clark’s basis for the interview?
    • Luthor is very friendly to Clark*, openly passive-aggressive hostile to Bruce (and Wayne reciprocates.) Hint that they’ve clashed as business rivals before.
      • * – Maybe use that neat Daredevil trick of the heartbeat monitoring for Clark to reveal that Lex is full of crap and frankly terrified of Clark? Might be too much. Perhaps Lex doesn’t know he’s Supes yet? No, that really doesn’t fly either.
      • Why is Clark here? See above reference to him digging into something that Lois turned up.
    • Cool idea: Diana witnesses both of them doing things they shouldn’t, like Bruce doing the bugging and Clark lasering something with his eyes.
  • Lex
    • Sen. Finch flatly refuses to help Lex. She’s done some digging and knows he’s a slimy piece of crap, and doubts he is seeking this exo-mineral for altruistic reasons. Lex never drops his his act until she is gone.
      • Again, alternate idea is that Lex is trying to help Supes but has become a full-blow extremist and doesn’t seem to understand boundaries. The more I think about this, the more I actually like it.
    • Remember: in the background, we should see Kal being Superman and rescuing some people somewhere.
    • When she is gone, he informs Mercy that they’ll need to move on to the alternate plan.
  • Clark
    • Visits his mom. Does super stuffs. He reveals to her that he’s exhausted. Nothing he does seems to be enough and more than half of the world is still terrified of him. Keep her “you don’t owe this world a thing” comment but actually have Clark disagree; he owes it everything. If it wasn’t for this world, he’d be dead. And he’s not going to stop paying it back. Martha should smile and tell him how proud of him she is. Maybe change her comment to a suggestion that he might slow down instead of a flat response the way she did? (Honestly, I think they made major missteps with the Kents in their teachings, both in MoS and BvS.)
    • Television has Sen. Finch announcing some sort of hearings – they should be centered around Superman’s general activities, not some “hey, did you shoot those guys in the desert?” – and making the request for Superman to show and publicly address the questions everyone has. Given the general slowness of government work, it is logical to presume that this could also be an oversight hearing about the events of MoS.
  • Metropolis
    • Legless guy scene climbing the statue scene followed by him meeting Lex and then meeting Finch.
      • If using alternate “Lex is Supes supporter initially”, then need to figure out how to change this. Perhaps it isn’t Lex who meets with legless guy but rather Lex operative (dude from Winter Soldier) who meets with him? If that’s the case, then who is “dude from Winter Soldier” actually working for? That remains an open plot issue I haven’t fully resolved.)
  • Bruce
    • Regains the data drive from Diana and then attempts to retrieve the kryptonite. Rather than him brutally murdering a dozen dudes via the Batmobile, let’s see Ninja!Batman instead! So this could be an action scene, just not one where he murders the crap out of people.
    • NOTE: This takes place in Metropolis, not Gotham.
    • First meeting between Bruce and Clark takes place when Supes responds to gunfire: https://youtu.be/JyIxwqAWS_Q?t=1m12s – I mean, come on. Let’s actually see Clark have that moment, mm-kay? This accidentally results in Bruce not getting the kryptonite, which allows Lex to gain access to it.
    • Clark does not warn Bruce to hang up the suit due to the whole trampling of civil liberties because that would make him a hypocrite. Something he says should be a direct callback to their first meeting at the fundraiser.
      • Need to work on exactly why Clark would be so aggressive here. He’s being kind of hypocritical, isn’t he? Maybe have him state outright that there are better ways to do this? Need to consider…
      • Maybe have Clark tell “Mister Wayne” that this kind of crap might fly in Gotham, but not in Metropolis?
    • Supes bugs out (another emergency?) and Bats glares at him. Ditch the stupid ‘do you bleed. You will.’ That’s honestly kind of pointless.
      • Note: It might be interesting if that “other emergency” is actually part of a Batman distraction plan?
  • Lois
    • In DC. Talking to Swanwick. Why? Unsure. But then, I didn’t see the point of her investigation at all.
  • Bruce
    • He and Alfred have a bitter verbal clash as Wayne’s pride is seriously stung from the above fight, complete with Bruce’s 1% line. However, follow this up with Alfred calling him on his BS: does he know what he sounds like? The same monsters they’ve been fighting for 20 years. If this is the direction he’s going to go, then Alfred will tender his resignation immediately. He exits the scene.
    • Bruce is left alone in the scene and then pulls up recordings from the gala where he zeroes in on Clark’s callback line. His scowl lightens as he pulls up some data on Clark Kent and then compares it to a recording of Superman (immediately post-MoS) as he is helping the emergency teams rescue people in the city. “Hello, Kal-El,” Bruce says softly.
  • Clark
    • Arrives in DC and enters the Capitol building.
    • Rather than the wheelchair going BOOM straight away, it emits some sort of frequency that causes Clark to scream out loud and go to his knees or cause his heat vision to go haywire (ala evil Atom causing him to zot Dr. Light in Trinity War comic run.) Might be interesting if it also throws out some mini-drones that do a great job of heat vision fake-out. Clark blurs to chair and then, Boom. Kal is sent tumbling out of the Capitol building. He hits the ground hard and finds his abilities are out of whack (Kryptonite poisoning? – interesting change in that his powers go haywire instead of him getting sick considering this is an experimental version?) With this happening, he has to flee to the Arctic to get control of himself instead of going off to sulk.
    • Outside, everyone reacts, including Lois (I guess.)
      • Idea: CIA Olsen is here as well, though he’s following Lane?
      • Note: Mercy Graves is not killed off like she was in the movie. That was another stupid idea and a waste of a great character.
  • Lex
    • Meets with different senator, expresses his shock & dismay at Superman’s unexpected behavior. Manipulates the guy into gaining access to Zod’s body.
      • If Lex is Supes supporter, his argument will be that extremists factions are terrified of him and they – the government – need more information. Kryptonian tech is on the black market and what happens if a terrorist gets those kind of weapons.
      • If wheelchair guy is not immediately known to be responsible for this, Lex insists that there has to be an explanation for why this happened.
    • Quickly starts further experiments with the Kryptonite.
  • Gotham
    • Alfred enters the cave, finds Bruce seated before his monitors and studying the DC mess. He (Alfred) begins to apologize – evidently Wayne was correct in mistrusting Superman – but Bruce shakes his head. No. Superman is being framed somehow. (Ta-dah! Batman isn’t a complete idiot like he is in the movie!)
    • Bruce admits that Alfred was right, that he (Bruce) was starting to sound like one of the crazies, and that caused him to take a long, hard look at his motivations. Kent – he should intentionally use that name and then later have to explain why – terrifies him. No being should have that much power.
    • They review internal recordings of the congressional session again – Bruce has gone over them already and Alfred should ask if he wants to know how Master Wayne obtained these … to which Bruce should smirk slightly.
  • Smallville
    • Martha sees the news reports about “Superman going berserk” and immediately calls Clark. He doesn’t answer so she calls Lois.
  • Arctic
    • Clark is at his new Fortress, which is large chunks of the World Engine now buried in snow and ice. His control of his abilities is now mostly back to normal.
    • NOTE: It is essential that we see the cryo-tube things here, like the ones with the skeletons he found in MoS in that scoutship. More on this later.
    • Oh, we’ve got Pa Kent back? Kryptonian hologram, salvaged from the wreckage that should be wrong somehow. Like he starts speaking gibberish in the middle of a sentence and just isn’t right. Might be interesting if this discussion (Kal & Holo-Pa) reveals that Clark has intuitive understanding of his race’s tech that hints at the knowledge having been coded into his genes? You know, since Jor-El played merry hell with Kal’s genes in MoS. Would actually like to get Russell Crowe back as well, maybe have the hologram shifting back and forth between the two.
    • Clark has call with Lois – using Kryptonian tech to act like a cell phone – and he reveals what actually happened. She declares that she’s going to keep digging and then tells him to call his mom. He smiles and calls Matha.
  • Gotham
    • Bruce corners Diana and point-blank asks if she is Kryptonian as well. When she expresses some surprise at his theory, he reveals some intel he’s found on her, including a photograph from 1918…
      • Interesting idea: he grabs her arm like he does in the movie and tries to pull her along … but she doesn’t move. At all. Despite Bruce seemingly outmassing her by a 100 pounds or more. And then she warns him, in a very friendly way, to kindly release her arm lest she lose her temper. Bruce realizes that he’s in a great deal of danger right now.
    • Diana is unmoved and says flatly that she is not Kryptonian. Bruce: So, you’re something else then. This could be written in such a way that it might be shippy (if you’re someone who likes the idea of Batman & Wondy being a couple which I personally loath) but is actually intended to be perceived as Bruce going “Oh, fuck. You’re something else! Crap!”
    • Hint toward Diana being here for something else entirely and she could care not a whit about his silly fears … I would personally have a suit of armor in the background of her scenes here that intentionally look like Ares from Pre-Flashpoint but modernized so it doesn’t look so comic-booky: http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/dchallofjustice/images/5/50/DCU-ares.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20120918190022
  • Lois
    • Investigating the explosion, along with Jim who uses his CIA clearance to gain access to some stuffs.
    • Together, this … heh … this dynamic duo uncover and reveal the truth about the wheelchair guy causing the explosion and Superman trying to prevent the catastrophe. Now everyone knows he didn’t murder a bunch of people. And both of them know that someone very powerful went to a lot of trouble to make it look like he did kill all those people…
  • Clark
    • Returns to being Superman full-time, having recovered most of his fine control. Cue groovy scenes of him saving people and stuffs.
    • To remind everyone that he’s still not at 100%, show him struggle with some weight or accidentally crush something inanimate without realizing it.
  • Gotham
    • Bruce’s research is complete. He and Alfred have a conversation that should seem to be about Clark but is really about Lex in that Bruce identifies him (actual names and identities should be avoided here) as a well-intentioned extremist. Bruce will have to stop him. He is in the Batsuit and tells Alfred he needs Pennyworth to do something else for him…
  • Lex
    • I actually did like how they didn’t show Batman assaulting the location, but did just the aftermath. Keep that, with Luthor arriving to discover that not only is the Kryptonite gone but Zod’s body is also missing! Lex is furious.
    • There needs to be something here that clicks for Lex who the Bat is. Maybe? Would actually be interesting if he doesn’t know that Wayne = Bruce throughout this. He instructs Mercy to move to phase 2.
    • Gains entrance to the ship in some other way. Discovers it in a very bad way – reveal that Luthor has used Zod’s body to somehow mask his own via tech (in a way that makes more sense than kryptonite to the fingerprints.) He assumes control and agrees to bring the emergency ‘brain-interactive construct’ (hint at BRAINIAC down the road) online to assist in repairs – Luthor gets a sort of brain implant to facilitate this.
    • With this in mind, I would actually have this “brain-interactive construct” overwrite elements of Lex’s mind – maybe have him experience a sudden FLASH! that shows image after image after image of Krypton.
    • And most of those images are Zod.
  • Smallville
    • Martha is kidnapped by Mercy and operatives
    • Background element: Superman is trying to handle an out of control fire in South America (to explain why he doesn’t hear his mom get nabbed.)
  • Metropolis
    • Simultaneously, Lex operative (dude from Winter Soldier) makes a move on Lois … but fortunately, Jim Olsen is there and we have Action!Sequence! Jim kicks ass – paying back Lois for saving his life earlier – but is badly injured. Lane and Olsen are cornered and about to get captured …
    • When bam. Kal arrives. He makes short work of the non-powered humans and from Lex operative (dude from Winter Soldier) he learns that Luthor has Martha. How? Images on the man?
    • Clark orders Lois to get Olsen to the hospital and then leaves … and in that moment, despite being badly wounded, Jim Olsen realizes that Clark Kent = Superman. Note that this is one of the last scenes that Lois is in until the end of the movie – she’s not going to be running around and making out with him during a battle to save the world (ugh.)
    • Superman arrives on Luthor tower and is pissed off, but Lex – who should definitely be acting weird – reveals that he’s doing this to help Superman! Kryptonians are more advanced than humanity and he (Lex) wants to use them as a way to jump-start human evolution and capability! Have Lex’s thinking be unhinged but not utterly insane so a person could see his point.
      • Dangerous similarity to Samuel L. Jackson’s “Mister Glass” in Unbreakable here. How to get around that? Do I even bother trying?
    • Lex blackmails Superman into going into Gotham. The Bat has stolen something he – Luthor – needs back: Zod’s body. Martha is safe as long as Clark brings back two bodies: Zod … and Bruce Wayne (or The Batman if Lex hasn’t figured it out in this version.). He (Lex) doesn’t know where his associates took her and if he’s injured, well… he can’t guarantee her safety. And they will be watching so Clark shouldn’t try any funny business.
    • Clark departs, visibly conflicted.
    • And then, once Kal has left, end the scene on an ominous note, perhaps with the “brain-interactive construct” declaring (through Lex’s lips but very obviously not his words based entirely on his expression?) “Anomaly detected. Illegal free-birth Kryptonian identified. Initiating containment protocols.” The Genesis Chamber begins powering up but is badly damaged. And Lex looks confused.
  • Gotham
    • Bruce is in the powered Bat-armor and conversing with Alfred and telling Pennyworth to “do it” (really cool idea here coming up. Wait for it…) Overhead, Supes appears and then drops down out of the sky.
    • The fight begins … with sonics. The noise should buffet Clark and cause him to recoil … then we ZOOM IN on Bruce just as he does something to his suit gauntlets. Jump to Clark and we hear the subsonic recording as Batman advises “Kent” that he knows what Luthor is up to and can help him … but they need to make it look convincing until they can get clear of Luthor’s surveillance. Again, I want to show that Batman is brilliant.
    • Cut to Clark grimacing at the noise but making a discreet nod before blurring toward Bats.
    • And the fight is on. They throw each through abandoned buildings, knock one another through walls, and so on … and yeah, it’s all a ploy. Once they break through the floor and vanish into the basement, Bruce states they’re clear.
    • “My mom…” Clark starts to say but Bruce gives that creepy “Kingdom Come” grin (http://images-cdn.moviepilot.com/image/upload/c_fill,h_556,w_988/t_mp_quality/batman-kingdom-come-batman-v-superman-a-very-different-batsuit-teased-jpeg-93168.jpg) and says “Got it handled.”
  • Metropolis
    • The Batwing arrows down out of the darkness and we reveal that Alfred is actually flying it. Behind him, in the back seat, is none other than Diana herself in her battle garb. Alfred is very appreciative that Ms Prince is helping, but Diana states that she has her own agenda that simply coincide … but she does appreciate Alfred being polite and asking for assistance. They hit the safehouse where Martha Kent is hidden and Alfred uses the non-lethal weaponry on the Batwing to drop a lot of the hostiles (sonics again? Maybe some gloop grenades.)
    • And it is Diana who goes in to kick everyone’s ass to rescue Martha. Because how fricking awesome would that be?
      • POSTSCRIPT: After the fact, this would probably be very similar to Diana fighting the Germans with the slo-mo cam from her own movie.
    • Why is she here? Because Mercy is a fallen Amazon and a criminal who is to be taken back to Themyscira for judgement. Mercy is captured? Or she suicides? Essential that Diana not kill her. I prefer the capture so she could come back later.
  • Climax
    • Lex is back in the Genesis chamber and is alerted that Mercy has been neutralized.
    • Once again, the implant takes over – should show Lex trying to fight the ‘brain-interactive construct’ as it dominates him, but it is already too late. “Containment Protocols” have been initiated.
    • In the midst of this, Superman and Batman arrive, the latter no longer in his powered armor because it was badly damaged during their staged fight. They witness Luthor fighting the implant’s control and when Supes tries to advance, a bizarre clone of Zod (bring back Michael Shannon) is unleashed. Yes, I’m doing a take on Bizarro instead of Doomsday.
      • Since it appears to be sort of Zod and we’ve (hopefully) conveyed that Clark still has unresolved guilt over killing him, Supes will not be able to (or want to really) kill this clone especially once he figures out that it is sort of just a big baby being zapped by the ‘brain-interactive construct’ implant attached to it which causes it to lash out. Still, the thing is frighteningly powerful, so the entire final fight is an attempt to contain the “bizarro” clone and get the implant off it.
      • Bruce (wisely) runs and hides as soon as the gods begin to clash, but he should still play a role here by grabbing Luthor, freeing him from his implant and finding out what they did.
    • Diana should join the Clark-Bizarro fight and eventually, Bruce intervenes as well, using weaponized Kryptonite gas to provide the opening for the others to get rid of the implant. Cool idea here: Diana grabs Bizarro with her lasso just as Bruce uses the gas; while Bizarro is briefly held, Clark braves the Kryptonite gas to grapple with the clone. Di shouts for Bruce to engage and kicks up her sword toward Wayne (toe under the blade, then flip it up!). Bruce should visibly struggle with the weight of the sword (a reminder of just how weak he is comparatively, despite being a big dude) but use it to cut the implant free. The instant it is cut loose, the Bizarro clone goes limp. And that ends the fight.
  • Denouement
    • Couple of quick scenes here. Jim Olsen is in the hospital and his CIA handlers enter to discuss his progress. He straight-up lies when they ask about this Kent fellow and his connection to Superman but assures them he’s close. They depart after telling him that’s his mission until further notice. He turns on the TV and we jump to …
    • Lois being interviewed by someone ala Bill O’Reilly or Anderson Cooper (or maybe actually one them.) Hint that she is a frequent guest – “thanks for coming on again” – and then they segue into the shocking reveal about billionaire Lex Luthor and his criminal activities. One of them – Lois or the interviewer – should comment on how the stock price has plunged and Wayne Industries looks to be gobbling LexCorp up. Reveal that Lex is facing the death penalty for his part in the Capitol bombing…
    • Cut to Lex in prison. He’s in solitary and his head is shaved with visible bandages over where the brain-interactive construct implant was – this far better explains why his head was shaved; they don’t do that in prison, Zack! He twitches and we have a momentary flash of Krypton – like, one second, he’s on Earth, in this crappy cell, and the next, he’s staring at the wonder of Kandor City, and then flash, he’s back. He snarls to someone to ‘get out of his head.’ Need some way to reveal that he now considers himself Superman’s enemy, that Supes “betrayed” him somehow…
    • And shift to Superman. He’s standing in the Oval Office facing the President. I’d use a camera trick to never show the POTUS – maybe have most of the scene shot from the POTUS’ chair so we only see the top of his visibly Obama-like head? (Remember when this movie came out) – and Kal-El reveals to the POTUS and the assembled bureaucrats present that he has contained the clone. Probably need to have someone actually call it Bizarro which makes Kal frown slightly? When asked why he didn’t kill it like Zod, Kal will reveal that it has the mind of an infant. Killing Zod was a necessary action – from his expression, we should get that he still questions if it actually was – but killing this clone would be murder. Infanticide even. When asked where the clone is, we …
    • CUT TO Bizarro Zod sleeping in a cryo-tube ala those things he found in that scoutship in MoS. Clark is standing before the tube and we hear a voiceover of him saying “Somewhere safe, General. Somewhere he can’t hurt anyone.” This is his Fortress and Clark leaves.
    • CUT TO: Gotham. The Trinity are having a meal in some high-end restaurant. Both Clark and Diana are wearing glasses? If so, have Bruce snark about this not actually working. Clark (who should look visibly exhausted) says that he knows there are more people out there like them (this lumps “normal” Bruce into the category of metas) and he is thinking they should all keep in touch, so as to ensure the world stays safe. There should be no mention of a team, not yet.
    • FINAL SCENE: Someone (maybe Lex operative (dude from Winter Soldier)? My personal preference is General Swanwick, but that’s cause I did this in my big ass fanfic “The Last”) is in the Genesis chamber area and is rooting through the stuffs for … reasons. End with individual being suborned by ‘brain-interactive construct’ and declaring itself ONLINE (thus, the big bad in Justice League would be BRAINIAC.)

And that’s how I think I would have done the movie.

Solo and the Disney SW Franchise

So I finally got around to watching Solo – it popped up on Netflix and I realized that I, previously one of the greatest Star Wars fans of all time, had not bothered watching it yet. This is in the wake of me having watched The Last Jedi a single time in theaters, realizing that my prevarication afterwards about whether I liked it or not meant I actually didn’t, and having not bothered seeking out a repeat viewing … even when it popped up on Netflix as well. Which is just … sad.

Anyway, griping about TLJ isn’t why I’m posting this. Solo is. So I should review it.

I think I can sum up my feelings about Solo with one word: Meh. It wasn’t terrible, but neither was it very good, IMO. (Or necessary, but that’s beside the point.) The internet hubbub about the “SJW droid” was pretty much overdone – it was intended as comedy relief that seemed to work for the two friends of mine who watched it with me but mostly fell flat for me. That’s fine. The casting wasn’t terrible – I though Donald Glover was an excellent take on Lando and Alden Ehrenreich was … okay as Han. I didn’t hate him, so there’s that, and he did a decent job at carrying across Han’s smug arrogance and general “I have no idea what I’m doing and am making this up as I go” attitude. I didn’t really like that the movie essentially implied that Han Solo basically kickstarted the Rebellion with the money from the heist – I’d much rather that he’d intended on keeping the money, then got double-crossed by the pseudo-Rebellion types who took it from him. I’m also surprised that the Dryden Vos character – Paul Bettany’s character – wasn’t responsible for Solo’s chin scar … but then, that probably did seem like some low-hanging fruit they decided to avoid. Seeing Maul show back up was interesting … until he ignited the saber. Why, exactly? So the normies could go “Oh, right. That guy.” I guess. So ultimately, not terrible, not great, and very much not necessary.

As I discussed what I wanted to see in a future Star Wars movie with my friends, though, I realized that Valkryie could theoretically make a really interesting story concept. If you’re unfamiliar with that movie, it is “a dramatization of the July 20, 1944 assassination and political coup plot by desperate renegade German Army officers against Adolf Hitler during World War II.” Now imagine that in the Star Wars universe. Set it immediately post A New Hope so Alderaan has been destroyed by the Death Star and a group of Imperial officers are utterly appalled at what this New Order has just done. They signed up to help bring order to a chaotic galaxy, not obliterate a peaceful planet! So they start plotting and scheming, intent on assassinating the Emperor or Lord Vader (maybe both?) to topple the despotic regime that has gotten out of control. These officers are not Rebels – they legitimately believe the Rebellion is an illegal and immoral insurgency and based on what we saw in Rogue One at the beginning with Cassian Andor and how he murdered a contact just to maintain his cover, it seems probable that the Imperials have good reason to distrust believe them – but are instead actual patriots to the New Order who believe that the target of their assassination/coup is simply a problem. Ultimately, I think it probably makes more sense if Vader is the target of this coup with the conspirators believing that he’s responsible for the Emperor having lost his path. So they attempt to kill Vader but naturally fail … and he ends up killing them all. Hmm. Interesting thought here: have one of these plotters be General Madine who manages to escape Vader’s purge and ends up going full-on Rebellion at the end? If I did that, I’d not make him the main character, but maybe a secondary or tertiary one who keeps warning the protagonist that the plan isn’t going to work or something. I’d also be pretty tempted to have the protagonist survive Vader’s purge but be brought before the Emperor who personally executes him after revealing that this was all part of Palpatine’s plan to expose some traitors within the officer corps.

Unfortunately, casting Imperials as good guys for any reason probably wouldn’t fly for Disney, so I am doomed to never see the Star Wars: Empire movie that I would like to…

RIP Stan Lee

Saw that he passed away today at the age of 95. While it’s sad that we’ve lost him, 95 is a very respectable age. After his wife passed last year, I figured it was only a matter of time before he went too since they were married for seventy years. Seventy. Man. They were married for longer than I’ve been alive…

He’ll be missed, that’s for sure. I’m just glad he got to see the amazing movies based on his work…

Excelsior, Stan!

Captain Marvel trailer

So … it doesn’t totally suck but neither is it especially good. If I had to pick a word for it, I’d use … underwhelming. I’m still not sold on Brie Larson – she has, it seems, exactly one expression and that’s not even taking into account that she sounds 12. I maintain that Katee Sackhoff would have still made a better Carol Danvers, though I guess the fact she’s almost 40 now makes her too old in the MCU eyes.

And how sad is it that I’m more excited to see Young Nick Fury and Young Phil Coulson than Captain Marvel?

Cavill Out As Superman?

So, based on the internet chatter, it looks like Henry Cavill may be out as Superman in the DCEU. Honestly, I can’t say I’m very surprised – apart from Man of Steel, which I will go to my grave arguing was a good movie, his outings as the Last Son of Krypton have been mired with shit writing. Even MoS has some pretty stupid plot elements and/or missed opportunities, but Murderman v Mopeyman frankly ruined the character and Justice League made him the butt of CGI jokes.

And then WB starts making noises about wanting to do a Supergirl movie instead of a Superman sequel? Yeah, if it was me, I’d be looking to bail as well considering it is categorically clear that neither DC no Warner Brothers actually knows what to do with him. He’s supposed to be the grand-daddy of all super-heroes but the MCU did a better job of capturing his character with Captain America than any of the DCEU flicks (even, I’m sad to admit, MoS.)

What’s really sad is that Cavill has truly seemed enthusiastic about the character and honestly looks like he was born to play Supes, especially the legendary Curt Swan’s take on the character from the 70s and 80s. As shitty as the movie itself was, Justice League also had positioned him to portray a lighter, happier, more engaging take on the character which could have made Man of Steel 2 a lot more enjoyable (presuming they got some fricking decent writers in for a change.)

Now, WB will probably just cast a black dude for “diversity,” then be shocked when a sizable portion of their intended audience freaks out.

Granted, this has not been officially confirmed yet, but everything I’ve seen – including Warner Brother’s comment on this story – seems to confirm it is the case. So … just another reason for me to check out of the DCEU, sadly enough…