Holiday Blues? Disgust? Irritation? Setting In

I’ve made no secret how much I freaking hate this time of year, especially X-Mas. My dad died around X-Mas back in ’91 so I have certain sense memories tied to this time of the year. As a result, the closer we get to that point, the more … unbalanced (for lack of a better word) I find myself getting. Today and yesterday are especially good examples: out of nowhere, my mood has sharply deteriorated to the point that I came home from work and just immediately secluded myself in my bedroom where I did some reading and tried to focus on things that wouldn’t piss me off. Unfortunately, the book I’m reading – Kurt Schlichter’s Collapse – probably isn’t helping because I can totally see this being the future of the US. My roommate has invited me to accompany him to his family’s Turkey Day thing tomorrow and I’m still debating whether to go or not. On one hand, I do like his family and he’s basically my “brother from a different mother” but on the other, I’ll have to deal with observing family stuff and God, I’m in no mood to deal with that.

New Year’s cannot possibly come soon enough so I can get back to avoiding introspection.

Idling in Neutral

So … I’m in between running games and in a bit of a weird state. I was absolutely ready to be done with the ConsOps game by the last couple of sessions, but now, I’m jonesing to be back in the GM chair, particularly with the Verge game. Unfortunately, I can’t really do a lot but work on setting stuff since we’re doing the Session 0 to develop characters probably after the first of the year. Normally, I build the game around the characters, so this will be a different mindset I need to get into.

Factor in also the rapid approach of the “stupid season” … my dad passed away back in ’91 around X-Mas so I have certain sense memories tied to this abysmal holiday & it doesn’t help that I’ve got some weirdo friends who are the insane happy-happy-glee-glee types about Christmas (and seem to be unable to comprehend how much I actively loath it.)

So I’m in an odd mood. I’m trying to force my brain into something useful but alas…

Sick…

Blech. Sick all week. Started late on Saturday, so I took steps to counter it and ended up sleeping all day Sunday (due to NyQuil), then unfortunately missing work on Monday for more of the same. Very much ready for this crap to be over with so I can get back to feeling at least relatively normal…

So … Now What?

Now that my GURPS: Action run is complete, I’m into the “okay, what’s next” phase. I’m next up in the GM rotation with the Friday group and will be using Mongoose 2nd Edition Traveller though not the Traveller setting itself, but I literally have no idea when that’s going to kick off. Probably after the first of the year at the very least, what with the “stupid season” about to kick in so all of our games are likely to get postponed due to holiday schedules.

For the Saturday group, we’re going to be doing Shadowrun for a couple of sessions – again, see the above-mentioned stupid season – before starting Giger’s Sea Dogs game … eventually. I’m looking forward to that game because I really dig my character.

After that, we’re presumably doing a non-GURPS game for the first time ever with Olympus with a D&D 5E game. I’m actually hoping this does happen instead of getting pushed back and pushed back and pushed back and finally cancelled altogether because I’ve liked what I’ve seen of 5E thus far.

For me, I have two games that I’m leaning toward. In our Banestorm game, my character, Finn Sardock, was “lost” in a localized banestorm at the conclusion of the previous GM’s run, which leaves it wide open for me to run a short (hopefully) story arc that I have been jokingly calling “Season 3: The Search for Sardock.” I’ve already got this mostly plotted out – excluding the inevitable hard left turns and crazy random changes to be introduced by PCs – so that’s definitely something I’m leaning toward doing down the road.

I’m also looking at a resumption of our GURPS: Traveller campaign but a.) advancing the timeline by 5-10 years and b.) using completely new characters. This is still in the preliminary planning stages at the moment as I’m sort of, kind of thinking “you know, Pirates of Drinax is right there, calling to you …” Granted, I’m already using some elements of PoD in my Friday campaign setting, but that’s easily shifted and it could be very interesting…

But at the moment, I’m clear and free for a while. Which is appropriate since NaNoWriMo is right around the corner and I really need to do some writing for a change…

Back From GenCon

And, ugh … I am so tired right now. We ended up leaving Indy around 6 and arrived in OKC a little before 5a.m. As it turned out, I was the only one in the car who didn’t get in a quick nap – just couldn’t actually force myself to drift off like everyone else did. Came home and crashed for a few hours – three and a half, I think – which was not nearly enough. I had to do laundry for work tomorrow (ugh) as well as taking a buddy to the airport so he can fly home to Portland. I could probably get to sleep now, but I’m trying to hold it off until around 2000 or 2100 when its properly bed-time. But man, I am really fricking tired. Next time I go to GenCon, I’m getting the house until Monday a.m. so I can get a good night’s sleep before driving home.

This week, I’m intending to type up a big review of the games I played, so watch for that, I suppose. In the event anyone but spambots actually read this.

Thought that I was going to resume ConsOps this Saturday (the 10th), but looks like it’s actually going to be next week (17th). Whee…

More Gaming Absences…

Ugh. One of the Saturday players is definitely out for the next two weeks, another is going to wildly inconsistent until sometime in August. This essentially leaves us with two players for ConsOps which … yeah. That’s problematic to the extreme. So I expect ConsOps will be slipping into a half-hiatus mode.

The worst part is that I can’t really blame anyone for these absences because they’re family or school related. It isn’t the players’ faults that I don’t have familial obligations like that – quite frequently, I’m rather jealous of them for that fact, though I tend to hide that away.

But man … it makes things difficult.

Falling Behind Again…

We’ve had a couple of unexpected absences for the Saturday game, which has led to me delaying ConsOps while we do some GURPS: Shadowrun oneshots while down a player … I’ve fallen way behind in planning and absolutely need to get off my ass & get back into this. Tonight is the face-to-face game and tomorrow, I’ve got a “most of the day” event that lasts right up until a little before game-time, so I’m going to try and force myself to get with the planning again on Sunday.

I really hate that I’m less enthusiastic about my game now than I should be…